What I learned from Katie’s book about how to investigate my thoughts didn’t just help me navigate wedding stress—it transformed how I handled everything.

The more I questioned, the more my assumptions unraveled.  The stress of  perceived rejections and painful comparisons lessened remarkably. Grudges I’d held for years softened and in some cases completely disappeared. When something happened in a personal or professional relationship that hurt me, instead of stewing for weeks (or months!), I would come to clarity and understanding in days, hours, or sometimes just a few minutes.

At first, self inquiry helped me improve my relationships—diminishing my unreasonable expectations, my fears of vulnerability, and the loneliness that I carried with me even when I was with other people. 

But as I worked through my personal struggles, I realized the same patterns were playing out on a bigger scale. My deep concern for the planet was an overwhelming burden. In my professional life as an environmental advocate, it was easy to find things to fight about – injustice, pollution and war seemed to be everywhere. The weight of the world felt personal, like a boulder I was always pushing uphill, and it prevented me from seeing the beauty and vitality of this world that I was trying to protect.

With continued practice of self inquiry, I discovered a new way to engage. Instead of battling against reality, I started working with it. My passion didn’t fade—it became clearer, more effective, and revitalizing instead of exhausting. I even ran for the mayor of my city, Toronto, running a positive campaign offering thoughtful solutions.